You Don’t Have a Consistency Problem

You have a definition problem, and once you fix it, everything changes

I’ve said this to myself more times than I can count: “I just need to be more consistent.” Not casually or in passing, but with frustration, disappointment, and sometimes a quiet suspicion that maybe something was wrong with me. Because no matter how many times I started, I couldn’t seem to stay consistent, at least not in the way I thought consistency was supposed to look.

On paper, the definition of consistency sounds simple enough: behaving or occurring in the same way over time. That seems reasonable. But somewhere along the way, most of us translated that into something much harsher. We turned it into never missing, never slipping, staying perfectly on track, and doing things the same way every single day. In other words, we turned consistency into perfection. And once that happens, you don’t just struggle with consistency, you start to believe you’re incapable of it.

If you’ve ever tried to build a new habit, you probably know the cycle. You start strong, fueled by a new plan, a new routine, or a new version of yourself you’re determined to become. For a few days, or maybe even a few weeks, everything clicks. You feel focused, motivated, and locked in. It finally feels like this time might be different.

And then something shifts. You miss a day. Or two. A weekend gets away from you. Life shows up and rearranges your plans. And almost instantly, the thought appears: “I blew it.” Not “I missed a day,” or “that didn’t go as planned,” but “I blew it.” That single interpretation changes everything. Because now you’re not simply off track, you’re starting over. Again. And again. And again.

For a long time, I thought this meant I was inconsistent. What I eventually realized is that I wasn’t inconsistent at all, I was measuring consistency the wrong way. Because consistency isn’t a perfect streak, a flawless run, or an all-or-nothing game. It’s something much simpler, and much more forgiving.

Consistency is not perfection. Consistency is returning.

It’s coming back. It’s showing up again. It’s staying in motion, even when that motion isn’t clean, linear, or impressive. That’s the shift. And once you see it, everything begins to loosen. You stop disqualifying yourself over a single imperfect moment. You stop turning a pause into a full reset. You stop telling yourself a story that isn’t actually true.

Instead of saying, “I fell off,” you begin to recognize, “I paused… and I came back.” And that counts. It all counts.

For years, I saw this pattern most clearly in conversations about weight, the scale, and body change. But the deeper truth is that this has very little to do with the scale. It shows up everywhere. In writing. In the gym. In business. In relationships. In the way we try to show up in our own lives. We tell ourselves we’re not consistent, when what we’re really doing is misinterpreting our own experience in real time.

The truth hiding in plain sight is this: consistency isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s something you practice. More importantly, it’s something you return to, over and over again. Not perfectly, but persistently.

Just recently, I spent eleven hours writing. Not because I executed a perfect plan, and not because every moment felt productive. There were stretches of flow and stretches of distraction, moments where it felt easy and moments where it didn’t. By the old definition, that day wouldn’t qualify as consistent. But by this definition, its exactly what consistency looks like: showing up, staying with it, and continuing despite the imperfections along the way.

This is the line that’s been sticking with me: consistency is the edge that earns the others. Creativity shows up inside consistency. Alignment is revealed through consistency. Service becomes possible because of consistency. Curiosity stays grounded through consistency. Not the rigid, punishing version, but the real version. The one built on returning.

So if you’ve ever told yourself, “I’m just not consistent,” it’s worth challenging that belief. Because what’s more likely is that you’ve been holding yourself to a definition that was never built for real life. A definition that turns normal human variation into failure.

What if you saw it differently? What if missing a day didn’t mean you fell off, but simply that you paused? What if you weren’t starting over, but continuing? What if you’re not behind, but in progress?

Because the truth is, you are always one return away from being consistent again.

That’s the invitation. Not to be perfect. Not to never miss. Not to get it right every day. Just to come back. To come back to the thing that matters. To come back to the person, you want to be. To come back to the practice, again and again.

Because consistency isn’t about never leaving. It’s about never staying away.

be your best self now…
Not when it’s perfect.
Not when everything lines up.
Not when you finally figure it out.

Now.

Imperfectly.
Honestly.
Consistently.

Before You Go…

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One day.
One decision.
One 16-hour gift at a time…

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